I Said Stop


When I was 15 I was in a public high school. It was my third year and I was in a terrible place mentally. This isn’t a story about a party gone wrong, or a dark alley. This is a story of a classroom filled with buzzing students and bright lights. It was some months into the school year, and we sat at desks clustered in groups of 5 or 6. I can’t remember how it all started, but one day the boy sitting next to me just decided that it was okay to grab my breasts in the middle of class.

Everyone in the group laughed except for me. Even the girl across from me found it quite entertaining. I told him to stop, and said it wasn’t funny, but he continued just about every day.

Over and over, I would say “No!” And “Stop!” I would hit him and I would scratch him, and still he continued. And still they laughed. Why he thought it was okay I’ll never know. Was it because rumors had spread about me over the summer? Was it because my chest was larger than most of the other girls? Was it because he liked me?

It hurt me. People I thought were my friends laughed in my face as I was repeatedly violated. They think it’s okay because it isn’t happening to them.

When they are young, we teach girls that if a boy teases her, or hurts her, it is because he likes her. We give boys a free pass throughout their entire lives, so they think that they can get away with these things. As a society, we need to stop encouraging such behaviours, and just letting them pass without intervention. Their victims are left with scars and fears.

No girl wants to be seen as just a pair of breasts, or a butt, or any kind of sexual object, there for any man to grab.

It took him a year to finally stop. I guess I got boring. I doubt he ever thinks of it, but every time I see his face I relive those moments.