My Sexual Assault


Anonymous


I’m writing about an experience of mine about sexual assault.

To begin with, I’m not entirely sure if what I’m going to say counts as sexual assault, but it was definitely a horrifying experience to me.

To start things off with a setting and a time, I was at my ex boyfriend’s house about a year and a half ago. We were dating at the time it first happened, and the other times after.

I was at his house and we weren’t exactly sober. I was very tired, so I was drifting in and out of sleep. During that time, he managed to get me up and into his room. This is where he proceeded to lay me down on my stomach, and pull off my pants.

Some people may say that this isn’t sexual assault because he was my boyfriend, and I didn’t tell him to stop, but that’s because I was too scared to do anything.

I was mostly asleep when he started, but I woke up soon after. I didn’t know what was happening, and I was really scared, so I started to cry. It took him some time before he realized that I was crying. Once he realized, he stopped instantly and began apologizing to me. Saying how he had no idea that I was asleep, that he thought I wanted it etc. etc. I managed to get over that event, mostly because I believed him when he said it wouldn’t happen again.

The next time was several months later, maybe even a year, but I will never forget what happened.

I was at his house again, and I was trying to comfort him because he was in a dark place, so we were lying down in his bed.

At this point in our relationship, I was starting to realize that it wasn’t exactly the healthiest of things. It was slightly emotionally abusive. I was becoming more cautious around him, because I was scared.

Anyway, he was crying to me, saying scary things about how he wanted to end his life. He then asked if we could have sex, and I guess because I hesitated, he it took it as a yes.

He started to pull down my pants. I kept saying no, that I didn’t want it, but it didn’t stop him from doing what he did.

I guess I should have pushed him off, but again, I was too scared.

I thought me saying no should have been enough. I was scared, because it wasn’t.

I ended up leaving him shortly after that, because the emotional abuse was way too much for me to handle anymore.

Now we’ve both moved on to better things.

I just hope that he doesn’t do the same thing to the next girl.